Many people still want to get married. They like the idea. They want to be with someone and build a future, a family, do cool things together and create a life.
Not for everyone, I get that. But for many it is still a thing. Even middle aged folks who tried it once, moved on, and then find the right person…again. They want to get married.
Here’s how you get married:
- If you’re younger, wait a bit. You need to mature, live a little, let life take a little of the shine off your illusions. Kiss a few frogs, go out on a bunch of dates, build a solid foundation built on whatever wisdom, experience and skills you can muster. Don’t slack in this area. It pays off in spades much sooner than you think it will. Don’t do bad things and avoid the hook up thing if you want to progress as a person.
- Find the right person. How? I don’t really know. But, somehow, you’ll know. If you’re not working, deep in debt, burdened with some major baggage, addicted to anything, living in your parents basement, or any other similar qualification you won’t be in the running. Fix this first. If you have your life together, and you’ve kissed a few frogs, you’ll just know. I believe what brings people together is some deep fundamental similarity in their values. Many, like my wife and I, are complete opposites in personality. I challenge ANYONE to find a more opposite couple. But, deep down we have the same values. Like my 92 year old aunt Esther once told my daughter Danielle when she was 21: “Don’t marry for love, marry for qualities. Love will come later.” Mind blown. Ancient wisdom. Think on that one for a bit before you judge all over it.
- Don’t be a dick. You heard me. I don’t need to repeat myself.
- This one is tougher to map out. But here I go: Don’t look to the other person to make you happy. Support them, make them happy. Unless they’re being a dick. Then maybe you hit a bump in the road, or gasp!, you married the wrong person. Truth is, there’s no room for growth when you look for happiness in them. Or, when you get jealous of your spouse, thinking you’re oppressed. Time to grow up. Sometimes being married makes this happen. And in it lies opportunity. If you’re smart about it and you decide you learn and grow.
- Get married in front of your closest family and friends. Seriously, you don’t really need a gigormous affair. I know, I know, some insist. But ultimately it boils down to that one moment in time, when you’re standing eyeball to eyeball with your betrothed, all those loving eyeballs looking at you, as you exchange your vows. Sounds scary, don’t it? That’s because what I just described matters most. That’s what it’s all about. Nothing else matters. Until you have kids, but that’s a whole new story.
Rob
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